Awkward, Normal. (Happy Birthday Isabel)

When I hold her hands I feel her passion as my partner,
The days I spend apart from you are like minutes under water, 
We're a team and loves our sponsor, 
I'm her monster, to conquer, 
Her knight in shining armor, 
She's my supporter, 
When life's a living torture,
Our loves a mess call us hoarders, 
We're not going anywhere like cars with no motors, 
She keeps me warm in the long and cold Octobers, 
My hearts private property shes the Owner,
We carry the weight of each others worlds on our shoulders, 
To keep this relationship afloat is a constant battle were both soldiers, 
Well stick together as we grow older, 
Awkward and abstract but we both feel normal, 
I'm her opposite in her journal,  
Shes up early and I'm Nocturnal, 
I've learned her, I can give you a tour, 
And be thorough.

Honestly?..

Tired of everyone judging, 
I focus on trying, 
I'm between screaming and crying.
I'm so indecisive, 
It's not that I wanna stay quiet, 
Its just that Words can't put together
what I want to express so I live in silence, 
Hidden behind laughter with Daily migrants, 
Shit if I told you the truth you thought id be lying..
Midlife crisis.. Hoping that the sun  starts rising, 
Focused on my hustle but the problems keep coming, 
I have my eyes aimed at the target but I'm no good at archery,  
I speak horribly of the irony of my anxiety, 
Dealing with these fucked up ass views of society, 
I need a bottle of rum cuz I'm suffering sobriety, 
Honestly...This is my honesty.

Alcoholic

I feel it's frozen touch as soon as it grabs my hand, I have no urge pull away. It doesn't frighten me, I find bravery inside to grab its cold frozen hand, I open it. He Fizzles with joy, his aroma is mesmerizing. He wants me to indulge in him, my mouth waters. I crave a thirst as if I've been dehydrated for hours, days... As my lips touch the cold, frozen glass, he pours into me, starts possessing  me. The bitterness of his taste, the sharpness of the fuzz make my eyes water... I gulp down with eyes of satisfaction. I feel like I just took a deep breath after being held under water for minutes. Minutes go by and he has fully possessed me. He calls his other demons to join in. I allow them in. I can't fight, the first one wanted more but I only wanted one. I can't communicate with him. He does what he wants.

Ten demons in, I'm buzzed. He wakes from his slumber. He has full control now, I don't want another but he keeps them coming. All I want is to stop. But he grabs me and stands me in front of a mirror and shows me all my pain, my sorrow, my agony, my stress, and strips me away from them. He says he wants to help me, but all I keep thinking is your helping yourself... He responds I am you. I scream in response and say; you are a Demon, he runs and stops in my face were nose to nose, he laughs like a maniacal and responds.. I am everything you conceal about your self, I am the same disgust you disguise, I am the face of your misfortune, I am the blood of your wounds, the scabs of your cuts that you claim are alleviated, vI am the brave asshole you pretend to be. I AM YOU.  His every word is accurate and frightens me  down to the core, I tremble and look in the mirror... I. Am. The Demon.